Mark Twain 2.

Great Quotes by Mark Twain - Part two.


Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.

The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.